Secrets of the health care bill -- Two members of our corps of disgruntled staffers have seen the detailed Secret Republican Healthcare Bill (SRHB 1) and offer this glimpse: The bill: Bans anesthetics for Medicaid patients and for Medicare patients over 90. Institutes Life Panels - death panels, except that they're called "life panels." Declares … Continue reading It’s Worse
Time to tone down the rhetoric -- Last week when an irate citizen shot and wounded four Republicans it suddenly dawned on the commentariat that our national rhetoric has gotten dangerously hot. Intemperate radio shock jocks and bloggers have led the charge to demonize the other party. Whether it's asshole Republicans demonizing Democrats or liberals … Continue reading Tone It Down!
Two Marses oppose Paris exit -- In a rare display of solidarity, both Marses, the planet and the candy company, expressed their dismay at the US exit from the Paris Agreement. CEO of Mars, Inc. Grant Reid said, “Mars stands by the Paris Climate Agreement. We remain committed to work with all governments and our … Continue reading Take Care of Your Planet
Changes in investment strategy -- In a flurry of investments the Trump organization has Begun purchasing coastal resort property half a mile inland Bought hundreds of small local ice making plants Begun exploring development of seaports on Russia's north coast Unveiled a new frozen confection, TrumPops Put a bid in for the Carrier air conditioning company … Continue reading Trump Turns Up the Heat
President strives to impress Russian visitors -- President-for-now Donald Trump gave the White House silver to the visiting Russian ambassador and foreign minister. "They really really liked it, and I don't use it. It's too heavy. In any case, as president I have the absolute right to give away anything I want." At the same … Continue reading Generosity
Golden couple discusses "golden visa" -- Here at Alternative Lies our interest was piqued by the Kushner family's flogging of EB-5 Visas to encourage Chinese investment in their Jersey City Journal Square project. (EB-5s are US visas available to those who invest at least half a million bucks in an American project.) We queried our … Continue reading Opening the Borders
Coalition between formerly rabid enemies worries administration -- The recent surprising partnership of Republicans and Democrats in Congress succeeded in keeping the country running. It also seems to have alarmed President-for-now Trump as he sees his friends and enemies joining forces against him. Disgruntled White House staffers leaked the information that the administration is sending … Continue reading Consequences of Cross-Aisle Comity
President faces the nation -- On Face the Nation this past Sunday, when asked about his healthcare bill's coverage of pre-existing conditions, President-for-now Trump said, "I'll tell you who doesn't cover pre-existing conditions. Obamacare. You know why? It's dead.* "Also let me tell you what doesn't protect you from so-called global warming. Obama's environmental rules. You … Continue reading Pre-existing Puerile Pugnacity
President overturns mathematical standard -- Calling it an old fashioned tradition long in need of updating, President-for-now Trump signed an executive order changing the country's counting system from base 10 to base 12. "This will have many positive results. Really positive," the president said. "Twelve can be divided by more numbers than ten to start … Continue reading The Dozens
Resistance proved futile -- Alternative Lies has been dragged kicking and screaming -- much like Dr. David Dao from that United flight -- into the Twitter era. Encouraged by more tech savvy friends we now have a twitter account and will be announcing our posts there as well an on that ancient technology Facebook. We … Continue reading AL Tweets!