Yesterday President-for-Now Trump said, "I have to tell you, it's an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew brain surgery could be so complicated. Or rocket science for that matter."
The cabinet can't afford Trump's nominees -- Seven cabinet nominees* including Vincent Viola nominated for secretary of the Army and Philip Bilden for Navy secretary, have declined their posts for financial reasons. "Give me a break," one nominee was heard to say. "You expect me to keep a Lamborghini on the road with what you're … Continue reading Public Service
Black Oscar goes to White movie -- Last night Hollywood gave Moonlight´s Oscar to La La Land. It was an embarrassing mistake quickly corrected. But meanwhile no one noticed that Denzel Washington's Oscar went to Casey Affleck.
Alternative Lies says 'thank you' -- We'd like to thank our publishers, editors, agents, photographers, housemates, cat, Mary, banker, Joanne, and the Trump White House. We couldn't have done shit without you. Or our parents.
Commerce secretary ready to buy in -- Wilbur Ross, a man who has gotten rich buying troubled companies, said today that he was ready to invest in the Trump Cabinet. "I specialize in turning disasters into things that aren't disasters, and Donald's cabinet looks like a great candidate." Sean Spicer later commented, "I'm sure that's … Continue reading Ross to the rescue
Alternative Lies have a place on the web now -- Today Alternative Lies inaugurates its new home on the web. If you're tired of lies that aren’t really lies, fake news that isn’t actually fake, this is the place to be. Our motto here at Alternative Lies is “A lie a day or we pay your … Continue reading Alternative Lies blog is live
We're on the map! -- Alternative Lies got to hang out with the big boys the other day -- NY Times, BuzzFeed, CNN, The Los Angeles Times, Politico, the BBC, and The Huffington Post. We here at AL joined the AP in refusing to attend the press conference those pubs were excluded from. They seemed … Continue reading Alternative Lies made it!
The White House adds to its playbook -- The Trump administration has removed protections for trans youth using school bathrooms. One Virginian who supported the change was asked on NPR, "Have you ever had a long conversation with somebody who's trans about how they think or how they feel?" He replied, "Not at all. I … Continue reading White House playbook
Steve Bannon may not be so bad -- The following handout was released today to the White House press corps - Contrary to recent rumors, the White House Chief Strategist Steven Bannon: Has never chortled with glee when learning of suicide bombings in Muslim countries, Never parks his Humvee in two handicapped spaces (or even … Continue reading Bannon not bad?
Bannon explains Nazi memorabilia -- Today Steve Bannon explained that his huge collection of Nazi memorabilia -- enough to fill five self-storage garages when packed carefully -- is simply an investment. "The value of my collection has already doubled since Donald Trump took office," he explained.