President overturns mathematical standard —
Calling it an old fashioned tradition long in need of updating, President-for-now Trump signed an executive order changing the country’s counting system from base 10 to base 12. “This will have many positive results. Really positive,” the president said. “Twelve can be divided by more numbers than ten to start out with. Many more. And since things are cheaper by the dozen this should have a positive economic effect.”
A spokesperson for the National Academy of Sciences was speechless. The American Association of Bakers was guardedly optimistic.
One possible motive for the unexpected change emerged when Mr. Trump subsequently said, “Let’s get to work. We only have forty some days to go before we reach 100.” He was later overheard to ask a staffer, “What about base sixteen? How does that work?”